Cheers To Three Years! 

  
Three years…

so hard to believe I’m still here! 

my words have been few

especially this year

another year of moving on

yet remaining trapped 

tiptoeing between living

and forgetting 

my heart wants to stay in the past

but the past haunts and taunts

my thoughts torment me 

thoughts that used to flow endlessly

with possibilities 

now tumble in chaotic dribbles 

of melancholy madness 

I’ve taken a step back to examine

some of my choices

I’ve come to the realization

I keep making the same mistakes

I keep trusting the same people

I keep dreaming new endings

to an already written tragedy 

It’s my own fault

I know this and yet

I can’t seem to stop…

I’ve decided I’m taking a step back

yes…even further

to work on myself

to try to find a little peace

I’m not sure if that’s possible

but I’m going to try 

I will still be watching

from the sidelines

like any good wallflower

who dreams of one day

becoming a rose

thank you to all of you 

who have left a comment 

or even pressed that like button

(possibly in error??) 

thank you for reading

I have made some

unbreakable connections here 

I adore you

you are a lifeline

to my sinking soul

thank you

for three years

of listening

as my tears fall…

Cheers to three years!!

Xx hugs
  

Scars 

  

Piercing eyes stare

her flesh writhes in pain

the demons rip away

piece by piece

every shred of hope

every ray of light

diminished 

revulsion 

crawling out from every pore

disgusting

ugly

hideous

worthless

words spill quickly

from her lips

monster 

creature 

what have you become

look at you

anger and hurt exudes 

insults meant to break

to cripple the already

mutilated form 

she’s ashamed

all the things she’s done

let herself give in

let down her walls

punches fly

glass shatters

a catharsis descends

as the blood pools

she gazes at the mirror

and realizes 

the scars on the outside

will now match those inside 

Reminder

  
She sits and sips her wine

watching the firelight

the days just seem to blend

into one mass of nothingness

a toast to reminiscing

a date on the calendar

never celebrated

while the heart bleeds

anguish overflowing

the warmth of the fire

doesn’t permeate her cold hard shell

the last embers glowing

before darkness surrounds

she gives in to tears

she’s been fighting for so long

today she cries

for all that was lost

but mostly all that never was

another date on the calendar

but mostly a reminder

and she mourns once again

A Visit From St Nick by Caroline Juliette #CinnamonTreats

This is my contribution to my good friend SJ’s blog. Hop on over & see all the other great Cinnamon & Treats posts!!
Merry Christmas everyone!!!

S.J's Blog

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The bakery abuzz with all of the smells & sights
as the Muffin Maid anticipants her special  night
the scent of cinnamon pastry and frosting fills the air
the treats are decorated delicately with the utmost of care
“Everything must be perfect for my sexy jolly elf”
she blushes when she thinks of what they did last year on the shelf
bending at the waist she places the cookies in the oven
suddenly she feels hands on her hips
“I will take a dozen”
she gasps at the contact and shivers with delight
“Hello, Sir! I hope you’ve had a productive night”
“I’ve been all around the world…in fact, actually twice
but all I really need to know is if you’ve been naughty or nice”
She says “I’ll be whatever you want as long as I get my gift”
A jolly chuckle escapes him but his movements are swift
he…

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Drowning 

  
Black sky

dark night

no stars

no moonlight

I’ve been running

trying to hide

I don’t want to face 

the fear inside

but your always with me

inside my heart

a constant reminder

I stop and start

can’t find the words

to sing this song

one soul here

the other gone

my heart bleeds

inside my chest

an ache I keep

close to the vest

nobody knows

the pain I feel

forever longing

for loves ideal

I had it once

but only briefly

shattered now

the scars run deeply

throughout Decembers

merriment

drowning in my torturous

lament…